What If I'm Not Gay?
by L.Hawk
Summary: Romano and Belarus come together to get drunk and try to forget that the objects of each of their affections is not the right sexuality to appreciate them. They meet two human men, and Romano goes on a drunken rant about the futility of love. Human names used.


Natalia was sitting at the bar, resting her head on Lovino's shoulder and drinking shots of vodka, trying to prevent herself from thinking about what her brother was doing to Yao. She stood up at one point to use the restroom. Lovino frowned and asked her if she could make it by herself; she was quite drunk and was having trouble standing straight, but she refused his help with a short, barking laugh and said he'd have to wait until they got home.

There were two men sitting at the bar, and just as Natalia left, they started to kiss. The bartender clenched his fists and snapped, "Out now!" The two men broke apart, looking startled.

Lovino, who wasn't quite sober, said, "Let them stay."

The bartender looked at him, then, because they were in Southern Italy, he said, "Fine, but no more of that."

The man closest to Lovino looked at him, narrowing his eyes in confusion. Lovino shrugged and said, "I can empathize."

The man, who wasn't quite sober himself, snorted and said, "Yeah right. Straight people have it made."

Lovino scoffed, "That's what you think."

The man glared at him. "You ever have to stay in a relationship you had no interest in as a cover?"

Lovino frowned. "When I was younger, there was a man I looked up to. One day, he told me he loved me. I was only a few years younger, but I wanted his admiration as an older brother and mentor; so I played along. For three years. It took him three years to realize I didn't really love him."

The man blinked a few times, taking that in stride, then said, "But I bet you never had anyone turn you down because of your gender."

Lovino squeezed his glass. "I was in love with a woman once, in fact I still am, so much it hurts. She never loved me, because she was a lesbian, and now she's going out with a woman who doesn't love her."

The man's boyfriend frowned, "Doesn't your girlfriend object to that?"

Lovino laughed ever so slightly. "She's in the same boat. She asked me to take her out tonight to get drunk because the love of her life is out on a special date with his boyfriend tonight, and she wants to forget."

The man said, "But surely those are isolated cases?"

Lovino snorted. "You want more examples? The girl I love's girlfriend had her husband leave her for the man she would have married if she hadn't married him. She gets off to pictures of gay guys having sex, and her girlfriend's in love with her and she doesn't care. Let's see, who else? Oh yeah. My girlfriend's cousin. He's got a crush on this girl, but she's sleeping with a girl from some island, who has a weird accent. And her love's boyfriend's sister is in love with this guy, but he's seeing another guy."

The man took a sip of his drink. "Well, fuck."

Lovino sighed. "Yeah, anyone can get screwed over in love."

Just then Natalia came stumbling out of the bathroom, grabbed Lovino's arm and slurred, "Let's get out of here. Lovino nodded and called the bartender over to pay their tab.

A/N- A) I didn't intend for this piece to be homophobic in the least, but any relationship that gets in the way of another relationship has tragic elements. If two men fall in love and get married (Which they can now, at least where I live) that's great, but if there's a woman who has a major crush on one of them, where does that leave her? I used Hetalia to explore this concept because while social conventions in the real world often discourage homosexuality and favor heterosexual relationships, the Hetalia fandom tends to favor homosexual relationships. (Also, I hold no ill will toward anyone from Seyshelles or any accent they might have. I was only trying to characterize Drunk!Lovino.)

B) The pairings I used in case you couldn't tell are RomanoXBelarus, Unriquited!RomanoXBelgium, Unrequited!BelarusXRussia, RussiaXChina, BelgiumXHungary, and Unrequited!SapinXRomano. And in Lovino's rant, the pairings, in order, are Unreqiutted!HungaryXAusrtia, Slight!Unrequited!PrussiaXHungary, PrussiaXAustria, Unrequited!LatviaXLiechtenstein, LiechtensteinXSeyshelles, Unrequited!TiwanXJapan, GreeceXJapan.


End file.
